Growing up poor teaches you a lot. More than anything else, it conditions you to accept the immutable omnipresence of scarcity.
I've noticed that manner of thinking has cast a long shadow on my psyche. It runs so deep, that I even get buyer's remorse when I spend money in Grand Theft Auto IV.
"Damn, I got 20 $800 grenades. I could have bought twice as many molotov cocktails for the same money. Got damn, I hope I made the right decision..."
I'd like to say my neurosis was limited to imaginary purchases in a make-believe video game universe, but sadly it creeps into my real life also. Once I like something, I assume I will never find anything else that I like as much. I mean, what's the chance that there could be two things that I really like?
Also, when I really like something that I've done - a humorous observation, a witty amalgalm of seemingly disparate thoughts, or even a really nicely captured and processed photo - I tend to subconsciously think "Well, that's it. I did something well once. Enjoy that last swallow cause the mayonnaise jar is empty and the Kool-Aid is GOONNEEEE, brother!"
I think I kinda felt that way about Lone Tigers Fan. I was really pleased with how that came out, which triggered my poor-person conditioning: "Well, if I did that well... what are the chances that I can do it again. What are the chances that this light will hit this person in this way and I will have the inspiration to process it using these colors, this technique...what's the chance that any more of all those good things still exists in the universe?"
The immutable omnipresence of scarcity.
That why this project has proven to be so therapeutic for me. When I look back over the photos I've made in the past 2 or 3 months, I surprise myself with the sheer abundance of photos that I am deeply pleased with.
And not just in that fleeting exhilaratory way that you are sometimes pleased with something when you just finish it. I can go back to some of these photos days, or months later and still feel secure in their value.
Having a project that requires I attend to it on a daily basis (even when I'm not posting, I'm shooting or processing, or reading photography blogs, or listening to photography podcasts, or thinking about photos), has forced me to go out and seek abundance; to seek new situations and people and opportunities that I can fashion into something genuinely valuable.
I hope that's what I accomplished here.
My girl Candace is like the nexus of cool people. Through her I've met a wide variety of folks I really like. One of those people is the Sharon - the woman pictured above.
Today is actually the 7 year anniversary of Sharon's migration to Detroit from her native Cleveland. Me, her, Candace, and my man James were at our favorite bar, Centaur (2233 Park Avenue), when I heard about Sharon's pending anniversary.
I figured this would be a good excuse to make some portraits of Sharon as a way of christening many more years in Detroit - or anywhere else that suits her goals.
This photo also christened my embrace of many more of everything. Good friends, beautiful photos, and top-shelf grenades.
Because the immutable omnipresence of scarcity is some bullshit, Maury.
[View the weekdaily blog and meet more of: The People of Detroit ]
I've noticed that manner of thinking has cast a long shadow on my psyche. It runs so deep, that I even get buyer's remorse when I spend money in Grand Theft Auto IV.
"Damn, I got 20 $800 grenades. I could have bought twice as many molotov cocktails for the same money. Got damn, I hope I made the right decision..."
I'd like to say my neurosis was limited to imaginary purchases in a make-believe video game universe, but sadly it creeps into my real life also. Once I like something, I assume I will never find anything else that I like as much. I mean, what's the chance that there could be two things that I really like?
Also, when I really like something that I've done - a humorous observation, a witty amalgalm of seemingly disparate thoughts, or even a really nicely captured and processed photo - I tend to subconsciously think "Well, that's it. I did something well once. Enjoy that last swallow cause the mayonnaise jar is empty and the Kool-Aid is GOONNEEEE, brother!"
I think I kinda felt that way about Lone Tigers Fan. I was really pleased with how that came out, which triggered my poor-person conditioning: "Well, if I did that well... what are the chances that I can do it again. What are the chances that this light will hit this person in this way and I will have the inspiration to process it using these colors, this technique...what's the chance that any more of all those good things still exists in the universe?"
The immutable omnipresence of scarcity.
That why this project has proven to be so therapeutic for me. When I look back over the photos I've made in the past 2 or 3 months, I surprise myself with the sheer abundance of photos that I am deeply pleased with.
And not just in that fleeting exhilaratory way that you are sometimes pleased with something when you just finish it. I can go back to some of these photos days, or months later and still feel secure in their value.
Having a project that requires I attend to it on a daily basis (even when I'm not posting, I'm shooting or processing, or reading photography blogs, or listening to photography podcasts, or thinking about photos), has forced me to go out and seek abundance; to seek new situations and people and opportunities that I can fashion into something genuinely valuable.
I hope that's what I accomplished here.
My girl Candace is like the nexus of cool people. Through her I've met a wide variety of folks I really like. One of those people is the Sharon - the woman pictured above.
Today is actually the 7 year anniversary of Sharon's migration to Detroit from her native Cleveland. Me, her, Candace, and my man James were at our favorite bar, Centaur (2233 Park Avenue), when I heard about Sharon's pending anniversary.
I figured this would be a good excuse to make some portraits of Sharon as a way of christening many more years in Detroit - or anywhere else that suits her goals.
This photo also christened my embrace of many more of everything. Good friends, beautiful photos, and top-shelf grenades.
Because the immutable omnipresence of scarcity is some bullshit, Maury.
[View the weekdaily blog and meet more of: The People of Detroit ]
3 comments:
You are beyond silly with that Grand Theft Auto comment. Oh and it was nice of you to mention the person in photo while you were having your personal reflection thru this whole blog post...LOL
Well, you know this entire project is just an excuse for me to run my mouth... :)
"The Immutable Omnipresence of Scarcity", exquisite description! I love the total composition of Sharon's photo. Great post!
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